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Inferiority Complex - Yadav Singh Dhami

Image by Copilot. Just before writing this piece, I was reading another article, and there I saw these two words. I already knew about this word but don’t know why it got my attention. After that, I did a web search, and a long text was shown by the search engine (I don’t want to mention the name because they did not pay me to promote them). Then it hit my mind that maybe I am also suffering from it. It talked about childhood criticism, self-doubt, deep-seated beliefs, worthiness, and more. When relating to all my experiences, I can relate to all those things because it felt like that term was talking about me. Most of the time, I don’t feel that I have an inferiority complex, but when I am alone or when the internet is not working 😁 , my mind thinks about this kind of stuff. I used to completely relate to it in the past, but now it’s only about 50% (my own calculation (I am very bad at math), as I have not used any measuring tool or visited any therapy). I still have those ki...
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A day at Accountability Lab event.

Last Saturday, I reached Cloudfactory Nepal for the event organised in collaboration with Accountability Lab Nepal. The event was titled "सदाचारिताका लागि युवा" (Integrity as a Value) for Cloud Team. Picture from a Facebook post by ACCOUNTABILITY LAB Nepal. The team from the Accountability Lab Nepal shared their work about How they are actively working to reduce corruption in the country. Award the personnel working in the government organization and contributing their full effort to serve the people. Integrity Icons from the previous years. In that session, we talked about Good governance Values Integrity (Doing the right thing when nobody is watching) Responsibilities of Youth towards the nation. As a youth, how we can keep our government accountable? Asking the Right Question at the right time. Study, Learn and Apply. Gain knowledge and apply that knowledge for good. Me answering the questions After the session, they...
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Smile :(:

Schrodinger  Smile :): That's what I do these days. Just Smile... Because I saw somewhere that smile makes easier to forget your pain. Maybe its helpful to others but not for me its more of Pain. Due to this smile I feel like I am a different person now, whom I love but don't know. I used to know myself in those days when everything was good (I thought it was good). Those were good days without any obstacle, smooth. but in that path slipped. That slip took everything away from me and now there is this hole left inside me. So I Smile :):
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अझै पनि (still)

Photo by  Adrianna Calvo  from  Pexels ऊ सँग कुरा नभएको वर्षौं भइसकेको रहेछ, आज मोबाइलमा उसको एउटा मेसेजले मलाई फेरि त्यही कुराहरु सम्झन बाध्य बनायो। मलाई लागेको थियो उसले मलाई बिर्सी होला र मैले पनि बिर्सी सके सबै कुराहरु। उसको एउटा म्यासेजले मैले बिर्सी सकेका पलहरुलाई फेरि फिर्ता लिएर आई दियो। म्यासेजमा खासै त त्यस्तो केही लेखिएको थिएन तर जति लेखिएको थियो, ती पलहरुलाई फिर्ता लिएर आउनलाई कति पनि समय लगाएन। उसलाई आफ्नो मनको कुरा भन्नलाई मैले पिउने गर्थेँ। तर उसले छोडेर गएको दिन देखि मलाई उसको बढी नैं याद आउँथ्यो, अनि म एक्लै भएको आभाष हुन्थियो। र मैले उसले छोडेर गएको दोस्रो दिन देखि नै होस न हुने गरी पिउँथे। तर अफसोस उसको यादहरु अझै बढी आइदिन्थियो।
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पानी Again

Photo by  Yadav Dhami  from  Pexels म उसलाई हेरिरहें उसले मलाई ignore गरी रही। म उसको अनुहारलाई कती बेला देखि हेरिरहेको रहेछु मलाई केही याद नैं भएन। उसका ओठहरुलाई हेरिरहें, उसका आँखालाई हेरिरहें, उसको नाकमा भएको नथनी लाई हेरिरहें।ऊ बेलाबेला आफ्ना कपाल चलाउने गर्थी सायद उसलाई यो याद पनि हुँदैन होला की उसले आफ्ना कपाल कति पटक मीलाउँछे। उसलाई पानीमा भिज्न पटक्कै मन पर्दैन सायद त्यै भएर मैले छाता किन उसलाई न ओढाएर भनेर म सँग रिसाउँथी। उसलाई रीसाउ अझै भनेर भन्थेँ तर फेरि आफ्नो मूड ठीक भएको भन्थी। मलाई थाहा नैं हुन्थिएन म कति बेला उसलाई छुन पुग्थ्यो तर ऊ मलाई त्यस्तो नगर भन्दै हकार्थि।
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पानी

Rainfall Photo by  Bibhukalyan Acharya  from  Pexels म त्यो परि रहेको पानीलाई हेरिरहेको छु, जुन आकाशबाट झरेर जमिनमा खसेर माटोलाई छोई रहेको छ। ति पानीका थोपाहरु माटोमा पर्दा एउटा बेग्लै किसिमको सुगन्ध पैदा हुन्छ र  त्यो सुगन्ध कुनै Perfume भन्दा कम मिठो हुदैन। ति पानीका थोपाहरु हातले छोएर हेरेको कती चिसो रहेछन, मैले बिर्सी सकेको थिए कस्तो हुन्छ पानीमा भिज्नु भनेर। 
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